Mike Tries to Explain Things to Courtney

Courtney is in the hallway of Alexis’ Penthouse with Kristina. Mike shows up and asks if they can talk. She agrees. January 10, 2002.

Mike: Hello, Courtney.

Courtney: Daddy. What are you doing here?

Mike: I was waiting for Sonny.

Courtney: He was pretty clear about not wanting you around.

Mike: Actually, I was trying to angle a way to see you. There's so much I need to say.

Kristina: Well, it's up to you. If, you know, you don't want to, we can just go inside.

Mike: Haven't we both waited long enough? You don't have to say anything. But I'd appreciate it if you'd listen.

Courtney: Suppose it couldn't hurt. (They step into the Penthouse).

Kristina: You want me to hang around?

Courtney: No. It's okay.

Kristina: Ok, I'll be upstairs if you need anything.

Mike: I'm sorry.

Courtney: For what?

Mike: You name it. For not being the father I should have been, for letting you and your mother down.

Courtney: Didn't seem to bother you at the time.

Mike: I let gambling become more important to me than anything else. I fooled myself into believing that I could make it right if I just played that one more game.

Courtney: That is a rotten excuse.

Mike: I don't want to be excused. I ignored the basic fact that what my family needed most was me. And it used to melt my heart to see you looking up at me with those big trusting eyes. And you always thought that I'd be your protector, and I failed.

Courtney: Yeah, you did.

Mike: The worst thing is that I never came looking for the daughter who went away and I will never forgive myself for that.

Courtney: So, what, that's supposed to make everything all right? You just list all the ways you disappoint me, and like that, we forgive and forget?

Mike: I know it's not that simple. I'm just looking for a way to begin. 

Courtney: Yeah, well, maybe I don't want to begin.

Mike: You're sounding more and more like your brother.

Courtney: God, this doesn't make sense. It's all wrong. If you loved me, why didn't you try to find me?

Mike: I thought about you all the time, Courtney. Your smile, the way your little hand felt in mine when we rode the merry-go-round, the way you wanted to pet every dog we passed. I wanted to give you the moon. And when I couldn't, I felt as if I didn't deserve you.

Courtney: Were you upset when we left?

Mike: When I came home and you were gone, it was like a knife in my heart.

Courtney: What did you do about it?

Mike: Nothing.

Courtney: So your family wasn't worth the effort to search for us?

Mike: I was confused and hurting, and the next thing I knew, I was back at the tables on a week-long binge. What can I tell you? The man that let his daughter go was a bum.

Courtney: I didn't want to leave. Mom had to drag me kicking and screaming from the house. When we got to the car, I refused to get in. I kept crying and shouting, "We have to wait for Daddy. He'll come home and he won't know where we are." I remember everything. The sun was out, the grass on our lawn needed cutting, some boys skateboarding across the street and none of it seemed real. All I could think was that you would come home and you wouldn't know where to find me. Then Mom held me by the shoulders to steady me, and she looked me in my eyes and told me that you were dead. I cried myself to sleep every night after that. I was sure Mom told me the truth because my Daddy called me sunshine and he took me to the park and the movies and he laughed with me and he read me books and bought me my favorite stuffed bear. My Daddy would never leave me because he loved me! I knew that in my heart. But I was wrong. You loved these better.

Mike: Dear God, I am so sorry.

Courtney: Just go away. Leave me alone.

Sonny: You heard her, mike. Leave her alone. You all right?

Courtney: Yeah.

Sonny: How did he get in here?

Courtney: It's okay.

Sonny: No, it's not.

Mike: I needed to see my daughter, whether you approve or not.

Sonny: Where's Kristina?

Kristina: What's the problem?

Sonny: He shouldn't be in here.

Kristina: This is Alexis' apartment, not yours.

Sonny: Yeah, but he doesn't get to push his way in to see Courtney. That's all I'm saying.

Courtney: That's not what happened.

Sonny: You were supposed to look out for her.

Alexis: Why don't you let Kristina explain?

Sonny: All right.

Kristina: Mike wanted to talk to Courtney privately.

Sonny: Oh. He wanted to try his same sorry excuses on a new audience. All right.

Courtney: It was my decision, Sonny. I wanted to see my father.

Sonny: You shouldn't have.

Courtney: That's up to me, don't you think?

Sonny: You don't know who you're dealing with.

Mike: Courtney can make up her own mind.

Sonny: Really? Oh, so she can forgive you, Mike? Listen to you whine and beg? You feed her lies until she falls for your whole pathetic act again?

Mike: Listen, if you want to stay stuck in the past and continue to blame every mistake you've ever made because of what I did, that's fine, but I'm not going away. And I am not giving up a second chance with my daughter.

Sonny: Get out of here. Get out of here, Mike.

Courtney: My father came to see me. I'll be the one to tell him when to leave.

Mike: You don't have to take my side.

Courtney: I know.

Mike: If this is making you uncomfortable, I . . .

Courtney: It is. I'd like you to leave now.

Mike: Thanks for hearing me out. I'll be around.

Alexis: I'll get that.

Courtney: Okay, then, I'm going to head upstairs. It's been a long night.

Sonny: Okay, you know what? We need to straighten a few things out.

Courtney: No, get straight on this. I don't appreciate you coming in here like you own the world. I don't care what you think or what your problems are with our father. I'll be the one to decide whether or not I want him or you in my life.

Kristina: I'll go make sure she's okay.

Sonny: Well, that went well.