Sonny's Breakdown
August 1999. Juan is in the hospital in critical condition. He was beaten up by Sorel. Sonny feels guilty because he had promised Lily he would always take care of her son. After visiting Juan at the hospital, Sonny goes back to the Penthouse to be alone. He starts to drink heavily and trash the whole place. When Carly arrives looking for Jason, she finds a very disheveled Sonny.

Carly: (Walks into the Penthouse. It is dark and there is glass all over. Sonny is sitting on the couch, holding a broken picture frame and a piece of glass in his hand). Sonny? Sonny? Sonny? (He doesn’t respond, so she walks towards the couch). Hey, Sonny? It’s Carly. I was at the warehouse and they said Jason was away, so I was wondering if you knew where I could find him. (Carly sits next to Sonny on the couch). That’s a nice frame. When I used to stay here I tried to find two just like it. One for Jason and one for my mother. The one’s I found weren’t nearly as nice. Do you mind if I see it? Can I see it? (She reaches out for the frame, but Sonny pulls away from her).

Sonny: Don’t (tearfully).

Carly: It’s broken, see? And you can hurt yourself . . . and I don’t want you to hurt yourself, okay. (Carly tries a second time and is able to take the frame from him. She gets up from the couch and goes to talk Francis. She tells him to find Benny or Johnny. When she goes back into the Penthouse, Sonny is gone from the couch. She goes over and opens the drapes).

Sonny: (Covers his eyes) Wait! What the hell do you think you’re doing! (Sonny walks over and closes the drapes. Then he walks to the door and yells for Francis). Johnny? Francis? Where the hell is everybody?

Carly: I don’t . . . I don’t . . .

Sonny: What did you do?

Carly: I don’t know what you’re talking about. (Carly and Sonny step back into the Penthouse).

Sonny: I told Johnny not to let anybody in. Where is he? Where is he?

Carly: I don’t know. I thought it was strange and so I sent . . .

Sonny: You what?

Carly: Benny to find him.

Sonny: Since when do you give my men orders?

Carly: Well, make up your mind. Do you want Johnny found or don’t you?

Sonny: Don’t tell me what to do with my mind! (Yelling).

Carly: Fine.

Sonny: I want you to get out of here right now! (Yelling).

Carly: Fine! As soon as Francis gets back, I’ll leave.

Sonny: What, are you crazy? Can you hear me? All right, is this what you want? (Sonny walks over and takes out some money) You can’t do anything unless there’s something in it for you. Take the money and get out of here! Take it! All right, forget it then.

Carly: (Carly walks over to the phone) Yeah, I need the number to the place called . . .

Sonny: Now what the hell do you think you’re doing?

Carly: Thanks. (Carly hangs up the phone) Obviously, you hate my guts. The feeling’s mutual. I thought I would call Mike.

Sonny: You thought? You thought wrong, little girl.

Carly: Okay. Fine. (Carly picks up the phone again).

Sonny: I don’t think you’re listening to me. HEY! HEY! I TOLD YOU TO PUT THE PHONE DOWN! (Sonny grabs the phone out of Carly’s hands and throws it angrily to the floor).

Carly: (Shaky voice, as Sonny is trying to intimidate her) You said not to call Mike and I wasn’t. I was calling my mother.

Sonny: Your mother?

Carly: Yeah.

Sonny: Your mother can’t help you now. You know what I could do to you? (Sonny takes off his shirt) You know what I’d like to do to you?

Carly: I’m not afraid of you.

Sonny: Then you’re even dumber than I thought.

Carly: Fine. You hate me. You think I’m a low creature that crawls on my belly on the earth? That’s fine. That’s not news to me. But you’d never touch me.
Sonny: Why’s that?

Carly: Because Jason loves me. I’m important to him. I’m Michael’s mother. And even if you don’t get it, you respect it. God knows that the fact that he worships the ground that you walk on is the only reason that I don’t walk out of here and let you wallow in your filth. Let me call Bobbie.

Sonny: For what?

Carly: Because she’s a nurse. She might know what to do.

Sonny: About what? (Sonny’s acting agitated as he’s swinging his arms around and rubbing his hands together).

Carly: About you, Sonny. Look at yourself, man. Look at this place. You can’t be so far gone that you don’t get this is not how people live.

Sonny: How do they? Because I’d like to get the hang of it because the people I love usually die before I get a chance to see how it’s done, you know? Why is that? (He’s softening his tone towards Carly).

Carly: I don’t know.

Sonny: Sometimes they don’t die, you know. They only get maimed. They lie there, covered with bruises. You know, they can’t move because they’re in such excruciating pain. Then they look up at me. You know what they say?

Carly: What? (tearfully)

Sonny: Why don’t you love me? Why don’t you love me, Sonny?

Carly: (Carly’s not sure what to do. She starts to clean up the mess).

Sonny: Leave it!

Carly: I’m just going to pick up a little.

Sonny: Don’t.

Carly: Okay.

Sonny: I redecorated. Yeah. It’s kind of nice. Something we have in common. You like it?

Carly: No.

Sonny: Why not? I mean, I admit Lily would have done a better job. You know, she would have made it a thing of beauty . . . just like she wanted our life to be, you know? But I’ll tell you what. It’s better this way, because when you open the door, you know, you see the truth. Everything Sonny Corinthos touches, he destroys. Something else we got in common, huh?

Carly: (Carly nods her head tearfully).

Sonny: (Sonny is sitting on the couch with a drink in his hand).

Carly: Sonny, come on. (She has a glass of milk and a plate of food in her hands) What are you doing? You don’t need that.

Sonny: Don’t tell me what I need (rubs his face with weariness).

Carly: All right. How long has it been since you ate anything or slept at all? (Carly sits on the couch next to Sonny).

Sonny: Sleep’s not all it’s cracked up to be. You go to sleep . . . dream about all the people who are gone . . . the lives you could have had . . . the lives that never were.

Carly: Well, I think Bobbie could probably help out. (Gently) Could probably give you something . . . a prescription, something to help you sleep. No bad dreams.

Soenny: Is that your secret? You don’t dream about the people you cut off at the knes? You don’t think about the lives, you now, that you’ve ruined?

Carly: I make mistakes and I live with them, just like everybody else. What choice do you have, man? You fix what you can. You have to let go of the rest.

Sonny: Oh, Carly’s Anthem.

Carly: What is it exactly that I did . . .

Sonny: Sing it loud.

Carly: That you think I should be so ashamed of?

Sonny: Nothing. Not a thing. The people you love, you know, may be bleeding all over the furniture, but at least they’re alive when you’re done with them. Ask me if I can say that. Ask me! Do you tell them you’ll protect them and then you wind up at a grave, at a hospital bed, wondering what went wrong? No? No? Ask me if I can say that! (Yelling. Then he gets up from the couch).

Carly: (Carly follows him) This is wrong, man. I don’t know you, Okay? I don’t know you very well, but these are people that you love that you’re talking about here. Brenda and your wife and I don’t know who else. They definitely deserved better than they got. Who doesn’t? It’s not you. Do you understand? I don’t care who you are, what you do. You don’t have the power of life and death. Nobody does. People don’t drop dead because you did something wrong. My mother died in front of my eyes of a stroke, the woman who raised me, Okay? And we were having an argument. She was furious because I had disappointed her one too many times. Was that my punishment? Hmmm? God’s not cruel. God doesn’t think that way and neither do people who love you, Okay? You blame yourself, man, but they never would. Look, this stuff that you dream about when you sleep. It’s not your fault.

Sonny: Don’t spread your sickness to me. You can’t live with yourself, fine. Make up fairly tales. Keep telling yourself, you know, Hey, I did the best I could. But don’t tell me what I’ve done or haven’t done, because I am not afraid to look the devil in the eye. (Sonny takes a whisky bottle and breaks it on the table. It shatters and he cuts his hand).

Carly: Sonny, come on. Just . . . can I just . . . let me just see it. (Carly tries to get a look at Sonny’s hand, as he sitting down at the table now).

Sonny: What? (annoyed, shutting down again).

Carly: Your hand, Okay? You hurt yourself. See? (Carly opens his hand and there’s a gash).

Sonny: It doesn’t hurt.

Carly: But you can see that it’s bleeding, right?

Sonny: No. (Sonny studies his hand closely) It’s not mine. It’s Lily’s.

Carly: It’s going to be fine, Okay? We just got to get it cleaned up here. (Carly starts cleaning his wound).

Sonny: I did it.

Carly: You did what Sonny? Do you remember what happened?

Sonny: I did it.

Carly: Sonny, you broke a bottle. A bottle of whisky? You remember? Probably stung, but, you know, on the bright side, at least it’s disinfected. (She continues to bandage his hand).

Sonny: You can’t get it all out. It’s always there.

Carly: No, Sonny, it’s . . .

Sonny: It’s all they left me.

Carly: Remember the bottle?

Sonny: Because they’re with God now.

Carly: Who? Who are?

Sonny: Because I killed them (whispers).

Carly: All right (Carly has finished with the bandage, as Sonny is becoming more withdrawn) this is not as good as Bobbie would have done, but I think it’ll hold. Sonny? Listen, maybe you could go upstairs, lay down. I think it’d be really good if you could do that.

Sonny: (Looks at Carly and touches her hair. Whispers) We were happy for a while, weren’t we?

Carly: I don’t know.

Sonny: What did Jason say?

Carly: About what?

Sonny: Lily. Lily and me.

Carly: He said that you guys really loved each other.

Sonny: Did he?

Carly: Yeah.

Sonny: Yeah.

Carly: She was a schoolteacher.

Sonny: That’s right.

Carly: And she taught him how to dance.

Sonny: Oh, he remembers that?

Carly: Yeah. He told me once she was the finest lady he’d ever met.

Sonny: Yeah. (He reaches out and touches Carly’s hair again) You ever have a little dog when you were little?

Carly: I had a puppy once, but it ran away.

Sonny: Did you ever kick it, starve it, make it bleed?

Carly: No. It just ran away.

Sonny: You wouldn’t treat a dog the way I treated Lily. You know what she . . . forgave me. She said she was going to have my child, and she forgave me . . . lies, betrayals, selfishness. Those are things in my life I never could have forgiven. I didn’t think I could, but she . . .she meant it. She wiped them away and we were starting a life over. We were happy. And we loved each other . . . finally. (Sonny smiles and starts to have flashbacks of the night Lily was killed) I took her out to celebrate and she wore this pink dress, you know? She looked like something you could look at every day and you could never get enough. (Sonny laughs) And you know, Mike shows up. (Getting agitated, he stands up) You know, he always shows up. Mike always shows up, wanting something at the wrong time.

Carly: You know how that is, though . . . wanting. It doesn’t really keep a schedule, you know?

Sonny: Yeah.

Carly: What’d he do?

Sonny: He wanted to tell me something just at the moment when we were leaving. So

Lily walked to the car. (flashback) Why didn’t I stop her? Why didn’t I go with her? I remember every step she took. You know, it was like if you could watch music, that’s what it was like. She got to the car, she turned back, and I knew at that moment it had happened. The last thing I expected. But why? Why did I think it was so impossible to love this perfect woman who adored me, who was having my child . . . our child? She was everything I ever wanted, right there, in that pink dress. (Smiles) Of course I loved her. I wanted to, like, shout it to the world, you know? But it could wait, you know? We had the whole rest of our lives together. (Flashback to the car bomb explosion) NOOOO!!

Carly: (Carly walks over to Sonny and tries to console him) Sonny, you didn’t kill your wife and your baby. You couldn’t have known about that.

Sonny: The bomb was meant for me. Lily’s father found out that I was going to leave.

Carly: It didn’t matter. You didn’t know.

Sonny: Lily did what she always did . . . she saved my life! FOR WHAT?!? Look at me now, Lily! Why’s it always stink in here?

Carly: It’s just a mess. Why don’t you just go sit down? Let me clean it up, please?

Sonny: Doesn’t matter what I do. It always smells of blood in here.

Sonny: (Sonny’s laying on the couch with a blanket on him. He’s restless).

Carly: You thirsty? (Has a glass of milk) Hmmm? Want some of this?

Sonny: Huh?

Carly: Yeah.

Sonny: All right.
Carly: Okay. (Carly helps Sonny take a sip of the milk).

Sonny: It’s warm.

Carly: Yeah. It’ll settle your stomach like that. Have some more. Come on. Just a little. All right.

Sonny: Mmmm.
Carly: Let me see (tries to check Sonny’s bandage).

Sonny: No, no, that’s all right. Go ahead and go. I just need to rest, Okay?

Carly: Francis isn’t back yet. What’s the matter?

Sonny: Nothing. Like I said, just go, please. Just let it be, will you?

Carly: Sonny look, I had no idea. You understand? I don’t know what it’s like what you went through. And I’m sorry. I just thought you were cold, you were empty, hollow inside. I had no idea.

Sonny: Of me?

Carly: Yeah.

Sonny: Of what? You still have no idea of me. Tell me something.

Carly: What?

Sonny: How do we look in the mirror every morning?

Carly: It was always Jason. The rest of that stuff, you know, custody trial and the wedding and telling everybody that Jason tried to kidnap Michael. That was part of the plan. Grand plan to bring Michael back here so we could raise him together.

Sonny: Your point being, what? At least your motives were pure? Fine, you win. You know something? Could you go? I got better things to do.

Carly: Like what? You going to go jump on a plane, Sonny, like you always do when things get bad?

Sonny: Yeah. Maybe. At least I don’t ditch a kid.

Carly: Hey. You’re right. I did that. I did. I knew that Michael would be safe here with Jason. But I couldn’t cope, so I left. Said I was going to go see my Mom in Florida. Went to Florida, but I never saw my Mom. Actually, I took a monthly rental at one of those cheesy singles complexes, you know? I always wanted to live there when I was younger. Of course, nobody talked to me. I could hear music from their radios through the sheet rock. I just lay in bed for a month and I kept sending money to my mother’s nurse. But I never drove by, even. Never drove by her house. That was stupid, hmmm? That was wasteful. That was my old family that I grew up with, me and my Mom. And it was ending, But, I didn’t know it. And this here, this was my new family. It was just beginning, but I wasn’t here. Maybe if I had been, maybe if I’d been here, Jason and I would have learned how to be parents together and then nothing would have separated us.

Sonny: You’re no good for Jason. But, I got to admit, he seems happier with you getting in his face, being no good to him. What do you want from me?

Carly: Nothing. Nothing.

Sonny: You know how much of a fool you’re making of yourself just being here? You don’t know me. You can’t get to know.

Carly: I understand better than I used to.

Sonny: Understand what?

Carly: What the finest lady Jason ever saw in you.