Sonny tells Mike his guilt over Lily's death
- August 10, 1999. Sonny has been holed up in his Penthouse for the past week. He’s guilt ridden about Lily’s son, Juan, getting beat up. He hasn’t showered or shaved and has refused to see anyone. Mike is let into the Penthouse as Sonny and Jason are talking at the table.
(There’s a knock on the door of the Penthouse and Johnny enters).
Johnny: It's Mike.
Mike: (Walks in, like he’s not sure what to expect). Hi. How are you?
Sonny: (Stands up from table. Wearily, as he walks away) How do I look?
Mike: (Mike walks over to Jason) Listen, the next time you disappear, why don't you leave a phone number or check your messages. I had a sure thing at the track the other day. It was a perfect way of getting you into betting, but you were nowhere to be found.
Jason: Maybe you can tell me about it later.
Mike: She, Jason. That was a sweet little filly. Plenty of heart, a little slow in the turns, but she . . .
Jason: I’ll talk to you later, Mike. I’ll see you (Jason leaves the Penthouse).
Sonny: Trying to get him to the track?
Mike: (Mike walks over to Sonny). Yeah. No such luck. But, I’m nothing if not persistent.
Sonny: Jason hates gambling. It bores him.
Mike: Well, he hasn't found the right game yet. Look, I don't know if you've heard, but they think Juan’s going to be okay.
Sonny: His father's taking him home?
Mike: Yeah. Soon.
Sonny: What do you mean, soon? (Getting agitated). Soon as you don't know or soon as in you're not telling me something?
Mike: Well, he had some trouble with his leg.
Sonny: Aw, come on, what do you mean, trouble? (Even more agitated) He can't walk?
Mike: No, no. It's nothing serious, Sonny. He's not paralyzed or anything. It's just that he took a fall when he was leaving the hospital and they're checking him to make sure that everything's okay.
Sonny: Oh, you know what? Something's not right here (Walks over to pour himself a drink).
Mike: Look, don't! Don't! You don't need a drink, Michael. You don't need to do this
Sonny: (Yelling in anger) Never tell me what I need to do, Mike!
Sonny: (He doesn’t pour the drink, but turns to Mike) Does he need a specialist? Do we need fly somebody in?
Mike: I don't know.
Sonny: What do you mean, you don't know? (His tone is accusing and paranoid) You show up here, you tell me Lily's son has something wrong with his leg because of a beating he took because of me.
Mike: No, it's not because of you. (Calmly) Look, Juan made a mistake and that's what kids do. And sometimes there are tragic consequences and you feel bad and you try to make things better, but that doesn't mean it's your fault.
Sonny: Do you have any idea how many times you’ve said that to me? And all it proves is how little you know about the things that I’ve done.
Mike: What do you think you've done?
Sonny: Think that . . .
Mike: What you think. (Still very calmly, considering Sonny’s wound up very tight and angry) Listen, Sonny, you look at the world like a child sometimes. You blame yourself for things that you couldn't possibly be responsible for or have control over. I mean, it's my fault Daddy left . . . it's my fault that mama got hit.
Sonny: I don't want to hear it, Mike!
Mike: No, no, no, no, listen. I know that I’m not supposed to talk about these things and those times, Michael, but how else can I make you understand? What happened back then was no more your responsibility than what is happening to Juan right now. Look, if you want to help the boy, fine, help him. Call a specialist, visit him at the hospital, do whatever you think is necessary, but don't punish yourself. It's a waste and it's wrong. You aren't guilty for anything.
Sonny: Well, that's the way you want it to be because you want to make everything okay
and because that's what fathers do. Juan thinks I’m his father. He called . . . he called me Dad. (Pauses for a minute. Then continues with his voice laced with emotion). He . . . he thinks I abandoned him, so that's why he came out here. And I said the wrong thing at the wrong time. (Looks directly at Mike with anger) That happens a lot, doesn't it?
(Mike looks at Sonny with slight confusion. Like Sonny caught him off guard and he’s not sure what he’s referring to).
Sonny walks toward the couch and Mike follows him.
Mike: (Cautiously) Why would Juan think that you're his father?
Sonny: I don't know. When Lily died, I flew to Puerto Rico and I gave her cross to Juan and promised to be his friend. Maybe, you know, he was young . . . he probably misunderstood. Or maybe it was me, you know, looking at him like (pauses, small laugh, voice full of emotion) and seeing my own child that was never born. Anyway, it doesn't matter. (Mike is looking at Sonny with concern. Sonny sits down in a chair and continues). Juan showed up and I told him I didn't want him around. So he thought his own father was rejecting him. So to prove himself, he spied on Moreno for me.
Mike: (Sits down opposite Sonny) But how does that make you responsible? I mean, you . . . you wanted Juan to leave and you did everything you could to try to help him.
Sonny: Sure, I did. So did you. (Talking carefully, tearfully). You did everything you could to, you know . . . that night you had to tell me something. That I was a good father, that you were proud of me, I think. You just had to say it right then and there, so . . . Lily walked to the car alone when we should have gone together, and I was standing there listening to you, listening to my father, when my life should have ended.
(Mike is leaning over and resting his chin on his hands. He finally understands where Sonny was going with this and looks like he’s just been hit with a truck. He takes a large swallow as Sonny continues).
Sonny: (Covers his face with his hand and cries) I wasn't supposed to watch them die.
I was supposed to be with them. Why'd you have to stop me? (Breaks down in sobs) Why'd you have to say anything?
Mike: (Tearfully, barely able to get out the words). Michael, I’m . . . I’m not sorry that you're alive.
Sonny: (wearily and with despair) I’m glad somebody's happy.
(Mike is about to break down himself. He quickly stands up and walks out of the Penthouse, terribly shaken by Sonny’s grief).